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Things are looking up!
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Here’s a tune I did for one of my brother’s sketch comedies years ago. It’s called “Bad Apple” and in the video you can see him lip-synching to my voice in his hilariously effeminate “Rocker Jimmy Samson” outfit.
It’s easy to improve sayings. Here, let me show you how. Take two awesome sayings, say “Shit happens, then you die” and “Life’s a bitch, then you marry one.” Zing! Both just obviously hilarious, profound utterances. So we’re working with unbeatable raw materials, right? Then just switch’em! Now we have TWO new sayings!
1. Life’s a bitch, then you die.
Okay, that one sucks, ditch it. But check out number two!
2. Shit happens and then you marry one.
Okay, that sucked too. Damn. This was so funny in college. Why was it so funny?! What’s happening!? And I weigh 20 pounds more than I did then, too! I guess we go back to the original no. 1 saying–shit happens, then you die. Actually that’s pretty good already. I bet Nietzsche would appreciate that as a summation for the entirety of human existence.
Hola, amigos. I know it’s been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I got a lot on my plate these days. As in, bought a house, started a baby, visited Duluth, and on and on. That’s kind of a lot!
And as always it’s been a struggle for me to figure out what to do with this here blog, especially when I don’t have time to be making new music for you. Cuz I was sort of seeing myself as a musician, so I need songs, right? No, because I was re-reading a journal I wrote in January and there was this big epiphany about how this site could just be all kinds of bullshit I feel like doing with no limitations but I swear, I must have been in a mocha-induced haze when I wrote it because I never followed up on that brilliant idea!
Here’s what I mean: I haven’t had time to produce new finished songs to post here, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t come up with 80 awesome ideas, 27 uber-creative doodles, and 7 hilarious writings during that time! I don’t just stop being creative when I’m busy, it just changes up. So why not share it?
For example, I recently invented Bacteria Pops, the world’s first and tastiest way to supplement your waning gut bacteria in these over-sanitized times! Are you addicted to Purell? Then you need to try Bacteria Pops! Flavors include Doorknob Punch, Dollar Bill Blueberry, Waiting Room Watermelon, and for those who really want some kick, Sump Pump Spicy Apple! It’s like eating pie from your own Grandma’s kitchen!
Stay tuned for more bullshit forthcoming at an unstoppable speed!
So I occasionally do some freelance photography over there at shopbop.com and after I created the infamous “Lunchtime” song people kept having ideas/requests for songs. So I was happy to oblige with “The 3 o’clock song”. I decided to recruit several ladies from the shopbop studio to assist, and they performed amazingly, given that we did it in a single take with no possibility of retakes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks Rachel, Elise, Claire, and Jess!
There’s a pretty awesome video of a planecrash (don’t worry everyone’s fine) with some weird guy filming on his iPhone while he and his wife and baby are going down. That may have inspired this song, vaguely. Enjoy!
My LA times in February were a blast. I think this song captures LA times pretty well. LA times. They’re a little cold and spooky, kind of like A Clockwork Orange. But sunnier. Recorded on the iPad in Laurel Canyon!